i already felt horrible, but suddenly out of nowhere i felt the need watch the profile-site of my ex boyfriend. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I know he has another ‘chick’ now, so why, why in gods sake did i watched it? Stupid. I’m so fucking stupid. Now i feel like dying and i totally did this to myself.
and you die little by little each time the spoon
feeds your uneasy mouth
expanding only the air within you
because you have only got air within you” —
i am cold.
so cold, my body shivers.
i can barely move my arms.
the dizziness is confusing me.
i feel so lost, i feel so.. gained…
my stomach hurts, but i’ve gained
the pain will pass, some day?
i haven’t felt like this
in such a long time.
i - i want to die.
the fact that i’m still breathing
shows that i am weak.
maybe i should go back
to the mental institution early.
for now all i have to do is
move my arms and fall